As my fiddle playing has slowly improved and I'm actually playing a few tunes now, I've come to understand that I can't really play a tune unless I first develop a clear idea of what it's supposed to sound like. The only other instrument I've really played previously (apart from recorder in fourth grade music class) is the piano. With the piano, what you press is what you get. I could read the music, and as long I pressed the appropriate key for the correct length of time, I could play a song without ever having heard it before. Of course, knowing a song beforehand certainly helped but wasn't necessary. With fiddle, it's different. If my finger is slight lower or higher on the string than it should be or if my bowing pattern is off, it won't sound right. The only way I really know that I'm playing the proper note is if it sounds right or by staring at the tuner the entire time I play. As I try to get away from dependence on the tuner and recognize on my own a particular note, having a tune clearly engrained in my mind is necessary.
How do I go about getting those tunes in my mind? By listening to them, over and over again, while I fold laundry, prepare a meal, or sweep the living room. When a tune gets "stuck in my head," I know I'm ready to try to play it. When I hit a discordant note, I don't have to look at my tuner, I just compare it to the note in my mind and know to try to move my finger slightly. I am not "learning by ear" just yet, as I still rely on sheet music to some extent. However, I am developing my ear for the sound of the notes and the style of playing I hope to eventually be able to imitate. The more I've heard a tune, the better I'll be able to play it.
The same goes for my life, if I want the actions in my life to demonstrate a particular tune, I need to know it well. Eris had an assignment from her Sunday school teacher to read the book of Matthew. Since her teacher speaks Thai, we aren't always exactly sure of what is required, but I decided it would certainly not hurt for us to read together, even if that wasn't the assignment. This morning, Eris finished reading the first half of the book to me while I hung laundry on the line. I strongly desire my life to follow the Bible, to reflect Jesus in every aspect. To do so, I need to be listening to the Word, carrying it in my heart and mind. I would do well to have a verse or passage going through my mind as I wash dishes, get the children ready for bed, or wander through the vegetable market. I often do find a hymn or praise song in my heart that I hum around the house, uplifting my spirit when I'm inclined to be discouraged.
Just as I'm learning to place my finger in a certain place on a particular string to produce a distinct sound, I am learning endeavoring to follow patterns in my behavior. When my children behave poorly, "Love is patient" should automatically jump into my mind, followed by an enactment of this. When I feel weary of living in Bangkok, I want to see all around me as "sheep without a shepherd" and earnestly desire that I may have a part in their coming to know Jesus. On days I don't want to persevere, I "continue to run the race so as to win the prize." When I'm tempted to worry about what the future holds, I need to choose to "not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself." The more I listen to, read, and meditate on Scripture, the more my life will be able to sound like the right tune.
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