A "Touchless" Date

Imagine you and your husband of ten years haven't been on a date in two-and-a-half years. Finally, you have an opportunity to go on a no-kids, out of the house, real live date. As you step out of the gate, your hands free from little fingers and diaper bags, you reach for each others' hands. Hooray, let the date begin!

This is how our late afternoon began yesterday. The reasons Philip and I haven't been on a date in so long are too numerous and complicated to relate. The simple explanation has to do with no nearby family, limited funds, and four young children. We do have plenty of time together at home with the children, and even "alone time" in the evenings watching documentaries, reading, and conversing about various topics - Biblical issues, astronomy and physics, fantasy literature. If you can name it, we've probably discussed it. With our tenth anniversary approaching, we finally had the opportunity for a real date. We knew someone who could watch the kids, and she was willing to do it.


Contemporary Thai culture clashes between conservative and progressive. Here it is inappropriate for a couple to demonstrate affection in public. Certainly no kissing, no cuddling, no hugs, not even hand holding. While many foreigner visitors ignore these taboos, as ambassadors of Christ, we need to respect them. When Philip and I go somewhere together, it's with four children. I carry Simeon in the baby-carrier and hold one or two hands. Philip carries the bag packed with all the stuff four young children may need while out and hold the other necessary hands. We do not have free hands for each other. It has never been an issue. Suddenly this cultural prohibition was a bother; it felt odd to be walking alone with my husband without touching him.

Philip and I allowed ourselves to hold hands to the end of our yaek (short dead end street), and that was it. I learned that I'm terrible at walking right beside my husband when I'm not holding his hand. I'm habitually a fast walker, so my pace kept gradually increasing so I would end up ahead of him. (Hopefully, not a metaphor for our marriage.) When I focused on keeping in step with him, I did much better. As we wandered around Jatujak Market, people kept cutting between us. I longed to grab his hand to keep us a unit. We still had a wonderful time together, just the two of us. Far be it from me to complain about this opportunity. However, next time we have a chance for date in the "Western" world, I look forward to holding my husband's hand and showing the world that we are one.