But She Deserves an Award Too...

My oldest daughter likes to plan celebrations. She has been planning for Halloween since the middle of September. She has scheduled games and food and prizes. And she also designed and created her own costume. She did not ask me to take her to the craft store or to help her with a single thing. She made her own fairy wings out of a cardboard box. She figured out a way to attach them around her chest and even measured herself for fit. Her costume is not fancy, and it may not be obvious that she is a fairy, but her initiative and creativity outweigh the lack of finesse in the final product.

Neilson Hayes Library, the English library here in Bangkok, has a Halloween/Day of the Dead celebration on November 1st, so I thought I had until then to help Eris put the finishing details on her costume. While I was home with sick children, my husband came back from church announcing that the kids' Sunday School class was having a Halloween party a week earlier. (Having a Halloween party at church is another topic altogether that I probably won't get to.)The week after recuperating from two weeks of sick children, including a trip to the library and getting ready for rescheduled company, was not the week I had planned to prepare costumes. I managed to put together a mermaid costume for Meriel with items we had around the house. Eris had given her the idea to be Ariel since their names sound similar. Then on Sunday morning, I finally had some time to give some attention to my little fairy. I helped retape her wings onto the chest band and affixed some yarn to tie them in place. That was all I had time for, and Eris was happy with the result.

Upon arriving at the church and getting their costumes on, Meriel was happy that everyone recognized her as a mermaid. Unfortunately, no one thought that Eris was a fairy; they all thought she was some kind of angel. It turns out, there are no tales of fairies in Thai culture. This compounded with the fact that her costume was very homemade, meant that she got little recognition for her hard work and innovation. At the end of the party, Meriel won a prize for her costume. A couple of other little girls who had pretty, store bought, unimaginative costumes received prizes. I'm honestly not sure the reason as the explanation for the prizes was given in Thai. Eris did not get a prize. No one commented on how hers was the only costume not purchased premade or made by an adult. No one told her how original it was or that she must have worked hard on it.

Of course that evening, Mommy and Daddy told her how proud we were of her. Daddy commented on her initiative in making her own costume. I lauded her for her creativity. But it was apparent that she was disappointed. She said that likes to creative and will continue to make things. In the end, the fact that her sister received a prize and she did not was not a horrible outcome. I mind less that she did not get an award, but that no one recognized her costume for what it was: the artwork and imaginative creation of a seven year old. I was reminded that we live in a culture that does not value individuality and is more focussed on outcome than process. So it will be so much more important for us as her parents to encourage this aspect of her personality. I hope that she will value our opinion and praise more than any award given by others.