Remembering Ζωή

On the day before Thanksgiving a year ago, I found that the baby in my womb was dead. I don't know exactly how long she lived or how long it had been since her heart had stopped beating. She lived such a short time that I don't have much to remember her by. I never heard her heart beat, I never felt her move, I don't have any pictures of her alive. We never bought her any clothes, toys, or books. Hardly anyone knew about her life until after it was over.

Despite all this, her name is "Life." Her life on earth was so short and seemingly insignificant, but when our family thinks of Ζωή, we choose to think of life. As Eris said, "She is more alive than any of us." She's never experienced pain or sorrow or cold or hunger. She went straight from the comfort of her mother's womb to her Savior's arms. She is daily in the presence of Jesus. Her life is a reminder that our true home is heaven, and it is there we will truly live. All of us can live on earth knowing that we will one day meet Ζωή, and we will all be alive together, eternally. 

As I think about life today, I want to share with you about a new life growing in me. Yes, Ζωή has a younger brother or sister. There are so many emotions related to this pregnancy, but I like to think that Ζωή knows and is happy for us. You know how little kids like to "help" make things in the kitchen? Well, I imagine Ζωή asking God if she can "help" make her little sibling. God smiles and says, "OK." Then, Ζωή picks the color of the hair or eyes or a dimple.* So somewhere around the end of February or beginning of March, we will get to meet this new baby and see what God and Ζωή created.

The book the kids are looking at is called "Always Room for One More." There may not be a lot of room in that chair, but there is always room in our hearts for one more. The little pink elephant is in memory of Ζωή.

 While the world will see us as a family of eight, we think of ourselves of a family of nine. One day we will be altogether. For now, we rejoice in the lives of two we are waiting to meet - one in heaven and one on earth.

* Just in case it bothers anyone, I know that this imagining is not theologically sound, but we don't know exactly what heaven is like or how a new life is created, so I don't think it's heretical either.