Following the Path of Life

Lately, life has seemed hard for me, "too hard." I just want life to be easy. I want to live in a country where I don't have to worry about a visa every year for the rest of my life. I think it'd be nice to be somewhere I could understand the language and the culture was not so radically different from my own. I'd like a break from teaching seven days a week. I'd like to order school curriculum whenever I felt I needed it, instead of right before my parents visit. Doesn't all that sound lovely?

For the last six months, we've been trying to find a way to get a year long visa to stay in Thailand. We strongly believe that this is where God has us. Despite the difficulties, we believe that God is using us here and growing us into His image. But I hate waiting, and I hate uncertainties, and I hate not being able to do anything about it. All of this, pushes me toward wanting to give up and return to the United States, for the "easy life."

I recently reread Patricia St. John's Rainbow Garden. In that story, Elaine learns about "the path of life" which leads us "the fullness of joy." It is a great reminder about where joy and peace really lie, not in pleasures on earth, not in a road that seems carefree, but the path God makes known to us. In my heart, I know this to be true. If we moved back the States right now, life might seem great for awhile. But I would soon become restless, knowing that it wasn't where I am supposed to be. And once there, it would be so much harder to get back here.

So we continue to chase "contacts," hoping for a visa from this or that university; plan a second visa run to Laos just days before Philip heads to the United States for a short trip; and stretching our faith that God will provide in His timing. I remember when we first moved to Thailand, God promised me a house with a garden. Three months later, I was ready to give up and look for an apartment instead. I was convicted to hold on to God's promise, and at the end of the fourth month we moved into a large house with a beautiful garden. Holding onto God's promise for four months seemed a long time; this time it is going on six months. See how God is working in me!

No "easy life" for us. God does not promise this for His followers. In fact, quite the opposite, we must take up our cross and follow Him. He does promise that He will help us on this path. We will not be left alone, and we will be able to accomplish what He calls us to. God has made known the path of life, and I will stay on it to remain in His presence in fullness of joy. But I do look forward to finding out what around the next bend in the path!

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Psalm 16:11