The Gift of Touch

I grew up in a hugging family. Anyone who knows my parents, will recognize that truth. We never need a reason to give a hug; and any occasion is a reason. "Good morning," "home from school," "good job," "needs encouragement," "do better next time," "I'm sorry," and "good night" are just a few of the types of hugs we like to give and receive. I continued the tradition by giving hugs to those I cared about throughout high school, college, and into adulthood. It is a way of showing affection and solidifying friendship.

As a physician, I learned about the importance of touch. A gentle hand laid on an arm while listening to the heart and lungs can make a person feel better than a round of antibiotics. A patient receiving a careful physical exam will feel more cared about than one who is does not, even if the exam is not entirely necessary. Even if the treatment given is appropriate and identical, a patient who has been touched by the physician will feel the visit has been more successful than one who has not. People crave contact with others.

Thai culture does not regarding touch in the same way as the culture in which I grew up. People do not greet even by shaking hands. I can greet all the people at church on a Sunday without touching a single one. I didn't fully realize how much I missed feeling connected with people in the way I am familiar with. More than a month ago, while we were still going to Immanuel Church in Bangkok, I greeted a man with the traditional "wai" - hands pressed together in front of me and little bow. This particular man has spent much time in the United States and even some of his grown children live there, so he speaks English well and is familiar with the customs. He "wai-ed" back and then, smiling broadly, grabbed my hand for a warm, hearty handshake!

Somehow, that handshake made me feel more special and loved than all the other greetings that day. The touch meant that the cared about me. My favorite gospel is Luke. He describes over and over again how Jesus touched the untouchable, the unclean - lepers, a bleeding woman, children, prostitutes, the dead. Jesus knows how a simple touch can heal a world of hurt, can convey love and hope. In the appropriate context and proper manner, a hug, a handshake, a hand laid on an arm can be a cross-cultural message of caring.

I am not purposing to go around hugging everyone in Thailand, or even shaking hands. Thai women and girls do hold hands sometimes, so physical touch is not taboo, just more unusual than in many cultures. So, I do think that introducing a hug to those women I count among my friends is a good thing. Or at least accompanying a greeting with touch a shoulder or arm. I daily strive to respect the culture yet infuse my life with Christ's love.