I am Sarah

I've read the whole Bible many times and certain stories and passages many more times. I've also studied much of the Bible on my own, in Sunday school, or Bible studies. I've even taught large portions of the Bible to others, including my own children. Sometimes, I a surprised to discover new meaning in a well-known story. It's often while I'm preparing to teach that I learn the most.

Before Calla was born, Philip and I co-taught the "Heroes of Faith" in Hebrews chapter eleven. Abraham and Sarah are both mentioned in that passage. Now, I know the story of Abraham and Sarah extremely well. I can quote Bible verse, explain details. I've taught the basic outline to children in Oregon, Indiana, and Thailand. I've studied it in depth with my own children. But this time around, God showed me something new, about Sarah and about myself.

I've always thought that Sarah acted foolishly and without faith, tempting Abraham to do the same. Why would she give her maid to Abraham to produce a child? Why not just wait for God? Abraham seemed content to wait, so why couldn't Sarah? Then I thought about myself. I am currently in a period of waiting. I am waiting for God and for my husband. The next step in our life journey depends on Philip finishing his PhD. and on God providing a job for Philip and a place for us to minister. And what is my role at this time? To wait on the Lord, pray for my husband, pray for God's will and our future.

I often find myself wanting to do something to help us along into the next stage of our ministry. I am ready to be in rural Thailand ministering through medicine. I am ready for Philip to have his dream job where he can work away from Bangkok, somehow as a tenure-track professor for a U.S. university. I want to jump in and help Philip with his dissertation - but I'm a natural scientist not a social scientist! I want to start look for the perfect job posting, but it's too early. I want to try to guess the place in Thailand to which God will move us. This must have been what Sarah felt. She knew God had a plan for her and Abraham, but it was just taking too long; her husband wasn't in a hurry. She thought that things might go better if she took them into her own hands.

In the end, Sarah's faith developed and grew such that she conceived and had a son. But she paid a price for her initial impatience. How has God's plan been hindered by my lack of patiently biding? My rushing may result in an upset of God's perfect purpose. In the meantime, I have plenty to do: mothering, teaching, ministering, learning; so that I will be ready when the time comes to move on.

Sister Sarah, I understand your drive to push things along; thank you for the clear lesson that I need to wait in faith and expectation. Lord, thank you for helping me to pursue patience, yet again.