Sometimes I dream of a husband with a "typical" 9-to-5 job. We would all eat breakfast together in the mornings; he would be home in time for supper, after which we would have family time then get the kids ready for bed together. He wouldn't have to do any work in the evenings or on weekends. I know the reality would likely involve having to do extra work from home or stay late. And I remember when he was trying to go to his office at Thammasat University regularly, commuting two hours each way! So to counteract my musings of an alternate reality, I write why I am thankful for my work-at-home husband.
Since he works late into the night, his only truly distraction-free time, he is usually not awake for breakfast. However, he is always home for lunch. He often goes out to bring lunch home for us, saving me the trouble of getting four children dressed, sandaled, and out the gate. He's also always home for supper on time. No trying to keep supper hot or hungry children entertained until Daddy walk in the door. A couple rounds of "The Lord is Good to Me" (our traditional waiting for Daddy at mealtime song) while he finishes grading a paper or reading an article, and we're ready to eat together.
He's available for back-up. How many mothers would love to have an extra hand around when everything goes wrong at once. Eris, my seven year old, can help play with Simeon while I clean up Hollis's accident on the floor. But sometimes, an adult or even just an extra helper is ideal. Sometimes Daddy is able to calm Simeon to sleep in his lap while I fix supper. Sometimes Meriel is stuck in a tree at the same time Hollis is sitting on Eris and won't get off at the same time I'm changing Simeon's blow-out diaper. This sort of scenario happens fairly often with four children. And of course, no matter how calm everything seems to be beforehand, something is bound to happen the second I'm in the bathroom. These moments, Philip is able to step in and help bring things to order much more quickly than if I were home alone.
He is the escalated disciplinarian. For some reason, fathers tend to be better at disciplining children. I remember being afraid of my father in a way I was not afraid of my mother. We haven't spanked in our house yet, but just the girls will sit quietly for time out in Philip's study when they won't sit in the kitchen. He is sitting there keeping an eye on them, while I am unable to watch the time out spot the whole time because I have duties all over the house. If they will not sit in time out at all, one of us has to hold them down. While I have the strength to hold a tantrum throwing three or five year old down, Philip is better able to do this. Also, if I'm nursing a napping baby in my lap, I'm loathe to cut the nap short to deal with a naughty child. So while I handle much of the discipline myself, it's nice to know I have back-up in the house.
The first post on this blog was about the scary creatures in and around our house. If I really had to, I would figure out a way to squash a huge spider (I have done away with one medium-size one) or get a snake out of our yard, but it is comforting to know my husband is around to deal with these for me. I don't even have to get frogs out of the bathroom or crabs out of my kitchen. The girls know who to call, "Spider catcher! Spider catcher!" running to Philip's study.
He can spend time with the kids during the day. He often takes Eris and Meriel bicycle riding in the Yaek (our small dead end street). He will sometimes take a child or two to the bulk market for cheese and yogurt. He can work in the yard in daylight hours. He can run upstairs and help me grab laundry off the line when it starts raining suddenly. He can catch the vegetable truck while I'm in the middle of fixing supper. We can go to the water park, zoo, or a museum on a week day to avoid crowds.
I'm sure this is not an exclusive list of reasons to be thankful for having my husband home, but these all easily came to mind. So while Philip may work all hours of the day and night, while I almost exclusively care for the children twenty-four hours a day, he is always available by a knock at his study door. We almost certainly have more time together as a whole family than those with a dad away at work. Our children are just as thrilled to see Daddy emerge from his study as they would be to welcome him home after a day at work. Surely our situation will one day change, Philip will have to go outside the house to work, our kids will grow older and present new difficulties, I will start working as a physician again. But for now, I am so thankful to be home with my children and my husband just behind a door.
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