The Gift of My Baby's Curls

When Eris was a baby, Philip wanted to shave her head. He had this idea that it would grow back thicker, so when she was older she would have lovely locks. Although she didn't have much hair, I was saddened by the idea of her soft baby fuzz being lost. Besides, we would never know if her hair was thicker or stronger than it would have been otherwise. I told Philip vaguely that "maybe if he have a boy someday." He took that to heart, and three children later was ready to take me up on the offer.

We were so busy for the first months of Simeon's life, that Philip didn't even mention his plan. After we moved to Bangkok, our days were spent trying to find a house and items for daily necessities. Around Simeon's first birthday, Philip brought it up again. By this time, I had grown attached to Simeon's soft curls, and I was resistant. I didn't realize how much Philip actually wanted to do this until he mentioned a hair trimmer as a possible Christmas present for Simeon. He mentioned that with his original plan, he would have kept Simeon's hair buzzed from the time he was tiny, and I never would have had a chance to see his sweet curls. I was startled, I had thought that he had planned to shave the baby's hair once, and then let it grow back. I told him I never would have told him he could do that to our son if I'd properly understood. When I got tears in my eyes, Philip dropped it after saying that it was something he would give up for his wife.

I thought about it during the weeks leading up to Christmas and realized that I could give up Simeon's soft baby hair for Philip. Philip does not have that many strong preferences regarding our children. Especially before we had children, we had many talks about how we would raise them. While I was in medical school and residency, Philip spent much time as stay-at-home Dad. Now he has much less interaction with them throughout the day, although he remains very involved. When he does mention something he would like for the kids, I need to make sure I pay attention. In this case, the superficial appearance of my son was something I could allow my husband to have the satisfaction of changing. Simeon's hair was also starting to get into his eyes and would need some kind of trim anyway.

After I came to terms with this, I went about looking for a head shaver to give to Philip for Christmas. I didn't know what I was looking for; I thought that the number for guards on trimmers meant how much hair would be cut off, not how much would be left. To my mind, more people would want 3-12 mm cut off their hair than that much left. I only found one electric shaver that advertised being for beards and heads, but it was very expensive and had "not for children" on the box. I came to the conclusion that I would need Philip's help to know what I was looking for. On Christmas Day, Simeon gave Philip a card with a note written in it, "I wanted to give you a head shaver to shave my head, but we need help finding it. Mommy says it's ok!" Philip looked at me to double check. I nodded and smiled; his eyes brightened as he smiled back.

On Sunday, we bought the hair trimmer. Philip gave me a day to say good-bye to Simeon's baby hair. So many last things to remember to treasure, as we plan on Simeon being our last baby. After lunch Monday, it was time. I took some last pictures of his hair, including the curls in the back. Philip chose the 6mm guard and began. Eris starting crying and Meriel bawled the whole time. As his locks fell to the floor and on the high chair tray, Eris gathered them up saying she would keep them forever. I secured a few for myself, and the girls took what they could gather. Fortunately the trimmer was fairly quiet, so it did not startle Simeon. He took it well at first but then started to get tired. Philip tried to be kind by leaving some curls in the back, but it looked too much like a mullet, so I encouraged him to finish the buzz.

Wow! Simeon sure looked different. The girls kept wailing, "That's not our brother!" Philip said he was startled each time he looked at him. I focused on his sweet expressions and mannerism which were unchanged. Simeon is the only one who doesn't seem to have been fazed by this dramatic change of appearance. I watched Philip carefully, pleased to observe signs of satisfaction and pleasure over getting to shave Simeon's head. The girls recovered, I still have my sweet baby boy, and my husband is happy. Losing Simeon's curls was well worth it.