"Waiting the Coming Day"

"Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior

Waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord."

The opening lines of this well known hymn run through my mind as I contemplate Jesus' death. What must it have been like to be a follow of Jesus at this time. He had explained to them that He must die and that He would rise again. But they didn't, couldn't, understand. They were waiting the coming day to see what would happen. Jesus was waiting the coming day to reveal Himself risen.

As I was musing on this; I thought about how I am "waiting the coming day." Many changes are approaching in our life. Philip has received an invitation to be a visiting researcher at Walailak University in Nakhon Si Thammarat Province. This will allow us to get the visas we need and remain in Thailand through the end of the year. God has opened this door to us, and it is exciting. However, Nakhon Si Thammarat is 800 kilometers (500 miles) away; we know no one there; we don't know how to move our stuff. God has a plan, but we don't understand it.

Now our waiting for God's plan to be revealed is not as dramatic as watching Jesus laid in the tomb and awaiting His resurrection. But it does remind me that God's plans are wonderful and beyond my imagination. Jesus had clearly explained to His disciples that He would rise again. The only reason they didn't comprehend was that they couldn't imagine such an event was possible. In my case, I need to leave all the possibilities open to God and let Him reveal His wonderful, perfect plan. In the meantime, I ponder the wonder of the cross and "serve a living Savior!"

The "Too" Excuse

My children always want to know what is for supper. Right after lunch, sometimes earlier, they start asking, "What is for supper?" I'm not sure why they want to know. But it has entered into our Thai lessons with Khun Moey. Last week, as usual, near the end of our lesson, they tried to ask "What is for supper?" in Thai. I asked Moey how to say, "It is too hot to cook." Her response revealed to me a new difference between Thai and American language and culture.

I realize that when I say it is "too hot to cook." I am putting responsibility for not cooking on the weather. It's not really my fault that I am not cooking supper; it is the weather's. In Thai, I had to say, "The weather is very hot; I don't want to cook." Now I have actually state that it is because I don't want to cook and the weather is just an excuse. There is no word in Thai for "too" as in "too much." It can be very late, very difficult, very wet; I can be very tired, very busy, very hot; things can be very expensive, very small, very spicy. I'm not sure if Thai people see it this way, but in English translation at least, taking too out of the language removes the ability to blame circumstances for our behavior.

Here are just a few excuses that would have to be changed in Thai:


"The skirt is too expensive," translates to "The skirt is very expensive; I don't want to buy it."

"The food is too spicy to eat," becomes "The food is too spicy; I can't eat it."

Thai language is too difficult to learn. changes to "Thai language is very difficult; I can't learn it."

"I'm too tired to plan for tomorrow's school," becomes "I am very tired; I don't want to plan for school."

"I'm too busy to read my Bible," changes to "I'm very busy; I don't have time to read my Bible."

The English sentence for the first three examples does not include "I." We can remove ourselves entirely from criticism. No one can blame me for not buying a skirt or not learning Thai; I'm not even in the sentence. But it Thai, it becomes clear that I am the one choosing to act or not act a certain way. In the last two sentences, the excuse seems plausible with the "too." It is not really my fault that I'm too tired or too busy. When I actually have to state "I don't have time to read my Bible," it sounds terrible. Then I realize that I need to take responsibility and do what needs to be done.

I'm sure there are plenty of ways to make excuses in Thai, but I've learned a to think about what I am saying more closely when I use the word "too." In Philippians, Paul states that he has learned to be content in whatever circumstances. I would like to learn the same, so I'm never "too busy," "too tired," or "too hot." Something is never "too difficult." I will lay aside the excuse and do what God would have me do. But if someone says something I agree with, I can say, "Me too!"

Following the Path of Life

Lately, life has seemed hard for me, "too hard." I just want life to be easy. I want to live in a country where I don't have to worry about a visa every year for the rest of my life. I think it'd be nice to be somewhere I could understand the language and the culture was not so radically different from my own. I'd like a break from teaching seven days a week. I'd like to order school curriculum whenever I felt I needed it, instead of right before my parents visit. Doesn't all that sound lovely?

For the last six months, we've been trying to find a way to get a year long visa to stay in Thailand. We strongly believe that this is where God has us. Despite the difficulties, we believe that God is using us here and growing us into His image. But I hate waiting, and I hate uncertainties, and I hate not being able to do anything about it. All of this, pushes me toward wanting to give up and return to the United States, for the "easy life."

I recently reread Patricia St. John's Rainbow Garden. In that story, Elaine learns about "the path of life" which leads us "the fullness of joy." It is a great reminder about where joy and peace really lie, not in pleasures on earth, not in a road that seems carefree, but the path God makes known to us. In my heart, I know this to be true. If we moved back the States right now, life might seem great for awhile. But I would soon become restless, knowing that it wasn't where I am supposed to be. And once there, it would be so much harder to get back here.

So we continue to chase "contacts," hoping for a visa from this or that university; plan a second visa run to Laos just days before Philip heads to the United States for a short trip; and stretching our faith that God will provide in His timing. I remember when we first moved to Thailand, God promised me a house with a garden. Three months later, I was ready to give up and look for an apartment instead. I was convicted to hold on to God's promise, and at the end of the fourth month we moved into a large house with a beautiful garden. Holding onto God's promise for four months seemed a long time; this time it is going on six months. See how God is working in me!

No "easy life" for us. God does not promise this for His followers. In fact, quite the opposite, we must take up our cross and follow Him. He does promise that He will help us on this path. We will not be left alone, and we will be able to accomplish what He calls us to. God has made known the path of life, and I will stay on it to remain in His presence in fullness of joy. But I do look forward to finding out what around the next bend in the path!

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Psalm 16:11

Bookworms and a Lookworm

As young as she is, Calla knows that books are important and special. When she escapes into the room our family calls the library, she runs to the bookshelf and pulls out a book. Sometimes she will sit on the stairs or couch and page through it, intently peering at each page. Other times she will return for book after book until she has a pile nearby. She has a great example with three older sister readers. Eris has long been a bookworm, and Meriel is entering the realm of bibliophiles as well. Although Hollis prefers more active pursuits, she is frequently found perusing a short "chapter book." Simeon recently coined the term "lookworm" for himself, meaning a person who likes to look at, rather than read, books.

Yes, books are important to us. When my parents come to visit us, we fill their suitcases with books and Tillamook Cheese. Most of the "chapter books" I read aloud with my children or buy for their birthdays, I read and enjoyed when I was a child. I am reading aloud through the Anne of Green Gables series with Eris, and I've just started the Chronicles of Narnia with Meriel. (Starting with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; no chronological nonsense for me.) However, I've been lucky enough to find a few new discoveries, as well.

One of these new treats has been the author Elizabeth Enright. A couple years ago, we got Eris the four volume Melendy series, starting with The Saturdays. The stories are wholesome, the children are respectful, good lessons are taught without being preachy. The plots are interesting but not too flashy. The first two books are about four children; later a fifth is added. The children are excited to read about families with five children, and we are always on the look out for those. Even though I missed these books as a child, I am glad I get to enjoy them with my children.

Every year for Christmas and birthdays, Philip gets a book to read aloud to Meriel - a book which Eris had not read. The latest was Gone Away Lake by the same author. Meriel enjoys re-reading to herself those books which have been read aloud to her. I have not read this one yet, but I have heard some of it discussed at the supper table. I look forward to reading it to Simeon when he is ready. For now, we are eagerly anticipating the sequel, Return to Gone Away; maybe Meriel will get it for her birthday!

We are always on the lookout for great books to share with our children. Meriel and Hollis enjoy receiving books which none of the other children have read. By the time Calla is a reader that will really be a challenge! Please share any ideas you might have.

Remembering Our Prayers

God always hears our prayers, and He always answers them. The way He responds to them is meant to increase our faith. The Bible also explains that if we delight in Him, He will give us our heart's desires. Now God's ways are not ours, and His eternal timeline may diverge from our "here and now" mindset. So how do we know when God answers our prayers?

Today the kids and I read a story in Luke 17. Some lepers, ten in fact, are crying out to Jesus - praying to Him - for mercy. Jesus responds with a command, "Go and show yourselves to the priests." Without hesitation, they obey. On the way, they were all healed; one turned around to show worship and show gratitude to Jesus. He remembered who had answered his prayer and his faith was increased because of this.

We need to remember our prayers so we can thank God when He answers. If we receive a delayed blessing and forget that we asked for it, we cannot obtain the full benefit. God's response to my prayers seems to often be, "Hold fast and wait to see what I will do." During that waiting period I can often forget my urgent prayers and then take it for granted when I do receive my request. I forget to go back and fall at Jesus' feet and thank Him.

Often, it is not circumstances that need changing, but my desires. I need to fully delight in Him and then my heart's desires will be His. My heart needs molding; my attitude needs transforming. I don't fully realize the changes God has made in my heart in response to lifting my desires to Him. The reworking is so slight and slow, I fail to notice and praise the Lord.

God had the children of Israel build monuments and altars to help them remember how the Lord helped them. Their children would ask, "What is that pile of stones by the Jordan River?" And their parents would have the opportunity to relate the story of the river drying up for them to cross. The stories would be passed down through the generations.

So what can I do to make sure I remember my prayers and my faith can grow by seeing God's faithfulness. Sometimes, I remember through stories. The kids all know how God provided for the three of us plus our dog Maiden as we traveled around the United States during my fourth year of medical school. They remember our four month wait for a house with a garden in Bangkok and how God fulfilled that promise. We recount these parts of our family history as a remembrance, as a monument, as a thanksgiving.

I thank God as I am making a request. I try to model my prayers after Philippians 4:6 "with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." I thank Him for His response before it comes, knowing that it will be the best decision for me. Of course, I want to remember to thank Him after as well, so I sometimes write down my prayers. If I have certain strong desires that I am waiting for God to fulfill, I record them. This way I can see how God changes my heart and how He answers in amazing ways beyond my grandest hopes.

Pray, wait, remember, praise so our faith will increase as God does great and wondrous works. 

The Gift of Touch

I grew up in a hugging family. Anyone who knows my parents, will recognize that truth. We never need a reason to give a hug; and any occasion is a reason. "Good morning," "home from school," "good job," "needs encouragement," "do better next time," "I'm sorry," and "good night" are just a few of the types of hugs we like to give and receive. I continued the tradition by giving hugs to those I cared about throughout high school, college, and into adulthood. It is a way of showing affection and solidifying friendship.

As a physician, I learned about the importance of touch. A gentle hand laid on an arm while listening to the heart and lungs can make a person feel better than a round of antibiotics. A patient receiving a careful physical exam will feel more cared about than one who is does not, even if the exam is not entirely necessary. Even if the treatment given is appropriate and identical, a patient who has been touched by the physician will feel the visit has been more successful than one who has not. People crave contact with others.

Thai culture does not regarding touch in the same way as the culture in which I grew up. People do not greet even by shaking hands. I can greet all the people at church on a Sunday without touching a single one. I didn't fully realize how much I missed feeling connected with people in the way I am familiar with. More than a month ago, while we were still going to Immanuel Church in Bangkok, I greeted a man with the traditional "wai" - hands pressed together in front of me and little bow. This particular man has spent much time in the United States and even some of his grown children live there, so he speaks English well and is familiar with the customs. He "wai-ed" back and then, smiling broadly, grabbed my hand for a warm, hearty handshake!

Somehow, that handshake made me feel more special and loved than all the other greetings that day. The touch meant that the cared about me. My favorite gospel is Luke. He describes over and over again how Jesus touched the untouchable, the unclean - lepers, a bleeding woman, children, prostitutes, the dead. Jesus knows how a simple touch can heal a world of hurt, can convey love and hope. In the appropriate context and proper manner, a hug, a handshake, a hand laid on an arm can be a cross-cultural message of caring.

I am not purposing to go around hugging everyone in Thailand, or even shaking hands. Thai women and girls do hold hands sometimes, so physical touch is not taboo, just more unusual than in many cultures. So, I do think that introducing a hug to those women I count among my friends is a good thing. Or at least accompanying a greeting with touch a shoulder or arm. I daily strive to respect the culture yet infuse my life with Christ's love.

Our Preschool Activity Jar

I don't have any exciting events or spiritual insights from our life to share this week. We did have a fun day Monday at Chatuchak Park. We met up with our friend Ryan, a missionary from Hong Kong who will be going on furlough soon. He came with English Emma and Thai Lynchee, so it was really an international playtime and picnic. The other notable event was at three o'clock this morning: cleaning up after a little boy got sick on his bed without running water, since the municipality decided to shut our water off for two-and-a-half days without advanced notice. I have never been so happy to see water running out of my faucet as I was this afternoon!

I didn't really want to write a whole blog post about either of these, so I decided to share a bit about what I have been doing with Simeon for preschool. With three older sisters vying for my attention, it is easy for me to not give him much attention. I'm not worried about him "falling behind," and he doesn't need any formal education at this time, so I prioritize math lessons with Meriel or grammar review with Hollis. But he does need some "Mommy-time," and he does want to learn.

At the beginning of the school year, I was using a schedule in which we used Bible stories to teach a letter a week. It had Bible stories in order with a letter that went with them, instead of being in alphabetical order. We started with "X" marks the spot for treasure; the treasuring being the Word of God. I tried to have multiple letter activities for each week, including a nursery rhyme and a coloring page. I realized that Simeon does not like to color, and he didn't seem to learn any letter after "x." His binder was full of letters he didn't recognize and worksheets he didn't want to do.

During Christmas vacation, I put together a preschool activity jar. I cut notecards into eighths and wrote an activity on each one. I put the forty tiny cards into a small drawstring pouch and placed that into a jar. A few activities are repeated twice (such as "read a book together") but most of them are unique. I created an equal number of letter and number cards, so we wouldn't end up being too heavy on math over language arts or vice versa. Each school day, Simeon pick two cards out of the bag. I find time somewhere during the school day to do those with him, often one in the morning and the second after lunch. After we do the task, the card goes in back in the jar but not into the bag. This way, we rotate through many games and exercises throughout the month.

So far, this had worked well for us.  Each day, Simeon is excited to choose the activities and is ready to learn with Mommy. It is easier to include a variety of games since I don't have to remember what we've done recently and what the options are. I don't have to plan or print anything. Simeon is learning in a fun way, and we get our one-on-one (with interruptions, of course) time. We have played a modified Master Mind, made play-doh letters, learned numbers with Winnie the Pooh matching cards, colored by number, matched lower case and upper case letters written on milk caps, found "f" and "F" in a "Life of Fred" math book, counted miniature vehicles on a road mat, and much more. Simeon and I are both looking forward to preschool in the weeks ahead.