A Menagerie

This week has brought buckets of rain, as well as a few new creatures to our menagerie. It rained most of the day yesterday, sheets sweeping in from the sea. Interestingly, we had no wind. We measured 1 3/4 inches in our rain gauge, but we set it out after much of the rain had already past.  Before this, it had rained every night in the wee hours of the morning and nearly every afternoon for a week. All this rain has created a pond in a grassy hollow across the street, between the road and the beach. At night, the honking croak of banded frogs mixes with the crash of the waves to lull us to sleep.

During a short lull in the rain yesterday afternoon, we rain across the street to the beach to see the waves up close. Just as we were about to go, I heard a rustling in the garage. Peering around the bicycles and under shelves, I noticed a bright flicker of color. It was a bird! We all had a close look, and tried to remember the pattern of colors for looking it up when we returned from the beach. I had a guess already, but I wanted to look in the bird book first.

 Over supper we had a discussion and identified the bird as a Blue-winged Pitta. He (or she - they can't be easily distinguished) stayed in our garage all night. This afternoon we were trying to decide if we should help him. Maybe get some worms and soil in a tub and place it near him. I wanted to catch some photos, and while I was out there, he finally decided he'd been bothered by humans enough. He hopped onto a shelf and flew out directly over my head into freedom.

The other addition to our menagerie is tiny and swims instead of flies. He is not as colorful as the pitta but should prove as interesting. We explored the temporary pond as part of science class today. We traversed the perimeter, noting a multitude of wildlife. Swimming caterpillars and crickets caught our attention since we didn't know they could swim. We spied myriads of tadpoles and water skippers. Bright red dragon flies dipped overhead. Ants scurried to move their eggs as the rising water encroached on their home. A small water monitor lizard quickly glided away from us.

We waded into the edge of the pond and studied the tadpoles more carefully. They would rise from the bottom, pop to the surface, then quickly dive back down. We later read that they get food such as algae and other plant matter from the surface and draw it back down to the bottom. Meriel tried to use a clean peanut butter jar to catch one but was unsuccessful. Then Eris took a turn. After a couple of jarfuls of water without tadpoles, she managed to scoop one up.

The pond water which we brought home for the tadpole contains many other creatures. I wish we had a microscope to look more carefully at the little swimming black dots. We have an unidentified black worm which twists around to swim from side to side. One little creature appears to be a damselfly nymph, but we are not certain yet. We hope to be able to observe our little tadpole turn into a froglet and continue visit the pond across the street to see what happens to the other tadpoles.

On Our Back Porch

Sunday morning a neighbor stopped by to let us know that the bunch of bananas hanging over the wall were ripe and ready to be cut down. After cutting the bunch, I put it on the little table on our covered back porch. I didn't bring them in the house because juice dripped from the severed stalk. As the bananas ripened during the week, the kids (especially Calla) helped themselves. They weren't the only ones.

Our little back porch turned into a miniature ecosystem. Common mynas and Yellow-vented bulbuls perched on the bunch and pecked into the fruit. The punctured peels allowed ants and fruit flies to enjoy a snack. In the evening, beautiful moths inserted their proboscises into the softening flesh while frogs and geckos feasted on the attracted insects. Meriel happily harvested ants to feed to her "pet" Banded bullfrog.

By simply cutting a bunch of bananas, we were able to enjoy a host of visitors right on our porch. (I was happy it wasn't in the house.) I had thought they might attract ants; which was another reason I left them on the porch. I didn't think about the other creature it would draw. It was fun to spy on the birds from the window. The moths let us sneak up fairly close to actually see what they were doing. After they flew away, we looked carefully to see the little holes they drilled. The children were as thrilled as I to watch this real life drama unfold.

Today Calla snitched the last good bananas and the rest were put in the compost heap. It is nice to have our table clear for a little while, but I'm looking forward to the next time we have some extra fruit to share with those who share our garden. We might even try to purpose attract butterflies, moths, and birds in some way. Hooray for our garden and for science lessons!

Sufficiency and Reliance

When our children are tiny, as their mothers, we are everything to them. We are literally their world for the first nine months. I love those first six months after birth, knowing that I am capable of providing everything my growing baby needs. I am sufficient, and she relies only on me. But as our little ones grow, they need more than we alone can give. They begin to taste something other than mother's milk; it is easier for them to away from Mommy's side for a short time. Soon after, they start to explore their world through crawling, then walking, then running. We can't keep them in our arms all the time. They need solid food, freedom to explore, and time away from Mommy.

The good, but also exhausting news, is that while we are no longer sufficient for our children, they still rely on us for many of their daily needs - for years. I am entering the period of motherhood where my children are growing up. I have more "big kids" than "little kids," and my baby is nearly two years old. I miss the days with a little one nestled in my arms breastfeeding. My job is still to provide sustenance for my children. After all, the first words out of Simeon's mouth in the morning are, "What's for breakfast?!" I am also comforter, educator, and companion.

While my children are home with me, my main task is to point them toward the One who always will be their Sufficiency. One to whom they can turn with every need and can always be relied upon. I may only be able to be enough and all for six months. Jesus is Enough and All for always. I pray that I show by my actions and words that I know this to be true. When I am tired, discouraged, lonely, anxious, angry, overwhelmed; may they see me at the feet of One who can refresh, strengthen, and offer peace.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."

1 Corinthians 12:9

When We Can't, God Will

What do you do when one day after another seems to overwhelm you? Nothing horrible, but just enough to wear you down and leave you exhausted. When you have to clean up shards of broken glass all over the kitchen floor three times in four days... When the kids get a gastrointestinal sickness you after the other, leaving you with little sleep and your workforce cut in half. Because of this, you have to do extra chores despite being curled up on the couch with abdominal pain yourself. When most of your kids seem well enough for church and you have to teach Children's Sunday School anyway, so you load them and drive yourself leaving your oldest behind with Daddy, only to have no translator for the Sunday School lesson... When during announcements at the beginning of the church service your almost two year old vomits all over because a well meaning "Aunty" has been feeding her too many snacks for her recovering tummy... When for days the toddler is either sick and clingy or feeling well enough to mess up everything...

Have you heard enough yet? Ready for the piece de resistance? What do you do when your when your husband is home for the weekend while you are sick but is too preoccupied to help as much as he usually would because you didn't think to run upstairs during the pouring down rain and gale wind which blew water threw the open balcony door and killed his computer?

If you are me, you take a break on Monday morning during school time to bring a snack and a Bible up to the balcony. I'd been to busy to eat a proper breakfast and a bit afraid my stomach troubles would return if I ate. But I knew I really needed some sustenance, physical and spiritual. I snuck away without any of the kids noticing; some were playing outside, others doing schoolwork or resting on the couch. I nibbled stale crackers with leftover sliced cheese and ham, not exactly gourmet but sufficient for the task ahead. Read a passage on God's magnificence and care for His people. And gave everything over to Him.

I remembered that He is in control. In our weakness, He is made strong. When our tongue can't speak clearly, His Spirit can shine through. When we are at our end, He is our all. When we can't, He will. We may still have a few days and night of sickness to go through. We may have to spend too much money for a new computer or work with the relative inconvenience of my laptop. I may never know how much of the story of Joseph my bumbling Thai was able to convey. But God will take my brokenness and make a work of beauty.

In the meantime, I look forward to a better ending to the week, hoping that the chrysalis attached to our trashcan will reveal a beautiful butterfly, reminding us that God makes all things beautiful in His time. I also need to learn the Thai words for "dream" and "sheaths of grain" so that I can tell the rest of Joseph's story if no translator is available this week.

"Waiting the Coming Day"

"Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior

Waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord."

The opening lines of this well known hymn run through my mind as I contemplate Jesus' death. What must it have been like to be a follow of Jesus at this time. He had explained to them that He must die and that He would rise again. But they didn't, couldn't, understand. They were waiting the coming day to see what would happen. Jesus was waiting the coming day to reveal Himself risen.

As I was musing on this; I thought about how I am "waiting the coming day." Many changes are approaching in our life. Philip has received an invitation to be a visiting researcher at Walailak University in Nakhon Si Thammarat Province. This will allow us to get the visas we need and remain in Thailand through the end of the year. God has opened this door to us, and it is exciting. However, Nakhon Si Thammarat is 800 kilometers (500 miles) away; we know no one there; we don't know how to move our stuff. God has a plan, but we don't understand it.

Now our waiting for God's plan to be revealed is not as dramatic as watching Jesus laid in the tomb and awaiting His resurrection. But it does remind me that God's plans are wonderful and beyond my imagination. Jesus had clearly explained to His disciples that He would rise again. The only reason they didn't comprehend was that they couldn't imagine such an event was possible. In my case, I need to leave all the possibilities open to God and let Him reveal His wonderful, perfect plan. In the meantime, I ponder the wonder of the cross and "serve a living Savior!"

The "Too" Excuse

My children always want to know what is for supper. Right after lunch, sometimes earlier, they start asking, "What is for supper?" I'm not sure why they want to know. But it has entered into our Thai lessons with Khun Moey. Last week, as usual, near the end of our lesson, they tried to ask "What is for supper?" in Thai. I asked Moey how to say, "It is too hot to cook." Her response revealed to me a new difference between Thai and American language and culture.

I realize that when I say it is "too hot to cook." I am putting responsibility for not cooking on the weather. It's not really my fault that I am not cooking supper; it is the weather's. In Thai, I had to say, "The weather is very hot; I don't want to cook." Now I have actually state that it is because I don't want to cook and the weather is just an excuse. There is no word in Thai for "too" as in "too much." It can be very late, very difficult, very wet; I can be very tired, very busy, very hot; things can be very expensive, very small, very spicy. I'm not sure if Thai people see it this way, but in English translation at least, taking too out of the language removes the ability to blame circumstances for our behavior.

Here are just a few excuses that would have to be changed in Thai:


"The skirt is too expensive," translates to "The skirt is very expensive; I don't want to buy it."

"The food is too spicy to eat," becomes "The food is too spicy; I can't eat it."

Thai language is too difficult to learn. changes to "Thai language is very difficult; I can't learn it."

"I'm too tired to plan for tomorrow's school," becomes "I am very tired; I don't want to plan for school."

"I'm too busy to read my Bible," changes to "I'm very busy; I don't have time to read my Bible."

The English sentence for the first three examples does not include "I." We can remove ourselves entirely from criticism. No one can blame me for not buying a skirt or not learning Thai; I'm not even in the sentence. But it Thai, it becomes clear that I am the one choosing to act or not act a certain way. In the last two sentences, the excuse seems plausible with the "too." It is not really my fault that I'm too tired or too busy. When I actually have to state "I don't have time to read my Bible," it sounds terrible. Then I realize that I need to take responsibility and do what needs to be done.

I'm sure there are plenty of ways to make excuses in Thai, but I've learned a to think about what I am saying more closely when I use the word "too." In Philippians, Paul states that he has learned to be content in whatever circumstances. I would like to learn the same, so I'm never "too busy," "too tired," or "too hot." Something is never "too difficult." I will lay aside the excuse and do what God would have me do. But if someone says something I agree with, I can say, "Me too!"

Following the Path of Life

Lately, life has seemed hard for me, "too hard." I just want life to be easy. I want to live in a country where I don't have to worry about a visa every year for the rest of my life. I think it'd be nice to be somewhere I could understand the language and the culture was not so radically different from my own. I'd like a break from teaching seven days a week. I'd like to order school curriculum whenever I felt I needed it, instead of right before my parents visit. Doesn't all that sound lovely?

For the last six months, we've been trying to find a way to get a year long visa to stay in Thailand. We strongly believe that this is where God has us. Despite the difficulties, we believe that God is using us here and growing us into His image. But I hate waiting, and I hate uncertainties, and I hate not being able to do anything about it. All of this, pushes me toward wanting to give up and return to the United States, for the "easy life."

I recently reread Patricia St. John's Rainbow Garden. In that story, Elaine learns about "the path of life" which leads us "the fullness of joy." It is a great reminder about where joy and peace really lie, not in pleasures on earth, not in a road that seems carefree, but the path God makes known to us. In my heart, I know this to be true. If we moved back the States right now, life might seem great for awhile. But I would soon become restless, knowing that it wasn't where I am supposed to be. And once there, it would be so much harder to get back here.

So we continue to chase "contacts," hoping for a visa from this or that university; plan a second visa run to Laos just days before Philip heads to the United States for a short trip; and stretching our faith that God will provide in His timing. I remember when we first moved to Thailand, God promised me a house with a garden. Three months later, I was ready to give up and look for an apartment instead. I was convicted to hold on to God's promise, and at the end of the fourth month we moved into a large house with a beautiful garden. Holding onto God's promise for four months seemed a long time; this time it is going on six months. See how God is working in me!

No "easy life" for us. God does not promise this for His followers. In fact, quite the opposite, we must take up our cross and follow Him. He does promise that He will help us on this path. We will not be left alone, and we will be able to accomplish what He calls us to. God has made known the path of life, and I will stay on it to remain in His presence in fullness of joy. But I do look forward to finding out what around the next bend in the path!

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Psalm 16:11